Of those 10,000 online dating service profiles, no more than a dozen captured our attention enough to make the first move. I’m sure that you wish to get lots of reactions to your online dating service advertisement, otherwise why would you bother joining a site, and paying a fee to meet new people?
If that is the case, then make sure you avoid the following 3 mistakes at all costs:
1. “I May Be the one you’re Seeking For”
This may be the case. However, by employing this combination of words anywhere for your online dating service profile, you aren’t telling me, or your potential suitor, anything new…
What this line does say to someone checking you out is that the online dating service profiler didn’t do a lot of thinking about how they wanted to present themselves. Tell people what gets your eyes twinkling or even what REALLY gets you up in the morning – and don’t say it’s your alarm clock, either. Now is the time to let your passions really shine through…
2. “I’m the one Your Mother Warned You About”
This is, from my research in any case, virtually the most overused phrase in an opening line for online dating service profiles. True, it’s the generic option of some of the larger sites (such as Lavalife or even True) – if your profile is awaiting approval, this tag line will show up while waiting for the a-okay…
To avoid this, come up with something a bit more unique and original. But what if you aren’t sure how to do this? Well, it’s not hard to take a look at your competition in the online dating service field, so why not do a quick search and see what everyone else is doing?
Reading other people’s description of themselves could just get your creative juices flowing. At the very least, it’ll explain what everyone else is saying about themselves – and what key phrases and words you should avoid in turn…
3. Glaring Spelling or even Grammatical Mistakes
This tip might seem childish, or even trite – but its critically important. While chatting with someone online, you may make a few spelling mistakes that a potential suitor will find annoying. However until you get to that stage with someone, noone should know that you’ve got dyslexia, or just can’t spell worth beans…
It shows a lot to a potential suitor while they peruse the online dating services that someone has taken the time to spell check their document. Hell, get a friend to proof read it for you if want just in case you’ve missed something important…
However if you can’t take the time to write something legible, virtually all people perusing the online dating service websites will assume you won’t have time to bother doing other, even more important tasks. And when you only have two or three of seconds to make that first impression before someone clicks on another person – each and every detail counts…
Once upon a time, people generally met their future spouses when they were in high school. Then came the advent of the practically mandatory four-year college degree and people began putting off marriage until later… and later… and later. Now it isn’t uncommon for people to wait until they’re in their early thirties to get married, if they marry at all. Unfortunately, it is a lot harder to meet people when you aren’t going out to football games and rec-room parties, so… enter the glorious age of online dating.
Because gone are the days when online dating was thought of as strictly for losers (or worse!). The Internet is the ultimate singles’ bar—without the noise, the drunks, and the high cost of all those not-so-happy hours. Nor, thanks to online dating membership sites, do you have to depend on your friends and family to hook you up with people they think would be perfect for you—and who wouldn’t be perfect for, well, anyone, which is why they are still unattached.
But that’s not true of you. You’re savvy and know that online dating makes it possible for you to connect with a lot more people a lot quicker than you could any other way. You’ll find that person who’s perfect for you yourself, thank you very much, Aunt Myrtle. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and online dating is an absolutely wonderful way to weed out the guppies from the sharks.
Because you do need to be cautious when connecting with other singles online. It almost goes without saying that most everyone stretches the truth a little, and it takes some practice to learn what to look out for. Actually, online dating personal ads are a lot like classified employment ads. You know, that ad that says a company’s looking for eager, go-getters is really after people who are willing to work 16 to18 hours a day for low pay and even lower appreciation.
The same is true for lots of online dating ads. Women will most likely fudge a bit about their weight, and guys are likely to add a few inches of, um, height. More serious lies happen, but not as often as you might think. These days, most people are trying to find more than just dates online, they’re looking for long-lasting relationships and use online dating sites to help with their search.
You may have some ho-hum dates that you’ve connected with online before you find the man or woman of your dreams. This isn’t necessarily because there are more ho-hums who are involved in online dating than with conventional dating, but that the pool of dates is much larger for online dating, so you actually date more or at least have chances to date more—and hey, that’s a good thing, right?
Back in the days when I was a teenager, I actually had reasonable success with women, but it was far from consistent. Many of my behaviors and attitudes were anything but high-status. Having internalized what high status males actually do, I have made immeasurable progress in relationships, friendships, and business, I only wish I knew these things earlier!
Many things can be associated with the high status mindset, but I have identified the most important thing a man wanting to improve their success with women must know.
That sexuality is completely natural and they are not scared to express it.
The key is how you do it.
Have you seen many movies or television shows about relationships? The constant theme is that most men are idiots with relationships and that they are lucky to find one girl. They go out of their way to repress their sexuality, thinking it will turn a woman off. The key to expressing sexuality is to not be explicit about it. Do not speak about it, and do not grope some random girl who hasn’t given you the right signals. What you must do is use body language to communicate to women that you are a sexual being and you know they are too.
Pop quiz, you are speaking with a woman you just met. She is standing in a position with her chest thrusted slightly forward, she is smiling with you, batting her eyelashes, and flicking her hair. Do ya think she might be interested? This was an obvious example, but you see the point. She was able to sub-communicate to you that she is interested and all you have to do is be your natural manly self.
But you ask, how does a man sub communicate these things as well? Many ways. Some basic things that are known by most are good posture; calm, and strong speech patters. There are many books on these things, and I recommend you read them. What I want to talk about here are less obvious things that society as a whole does not talk about.
One non-obvious technique that works very well is what some in the seduction community call, The Triangle Gaze. It is basically something many women seem to do us all the time.(by the way, MANY body language tactics they use can be used by men too). The triangle gaze is an eye movement technique. Simply move your gaze from her left eye to her right eye and down to her mouth, and pause a millisecond there. Don’t do it over and over, but every now and then do it. It is powerful and she WILL understand what you are trying to get across, and often she will be impressed if you do this in the right way because you will be demonstrating your social intelligence. And fellas, women are much “smarter” in this regard than most of us.
Another subtle technique that can be used to sub-communicate to a woman your intentions without being a cad are the use of double entendres. A double entendre is a word or phrase with more than one meaning, usually two, as the title suggests. Not cheesy, raunchy pickup lines, but things said on the fly that can be ambiguous, making it near impossible for her to forget you. Here is an example of a bad use of a double entendre:
You talking to a waitress: “So what time do you get off?”
That is one of the oldest in the book and at best she will laugh and say something like
“When I get home to my boyfriend”
At worst she will instantly write you off as a loser and walk away.
Something better would be charming. It would make her wonder about your intentions, and make her want to find out exactly what you want from her. Personally I love speaking with people who are visiting from far away, exotic lands, or who were not raised here. There is so much material for conversation and rapport building. One thing I love to do when speaking with foreign women is talking about their home country and talking about how sensual, and passionate it is. This is a compliment to her in a round about way and she will welcome the topic. She will also have no choice but to ponder the words sensual, passionate(and any other double entendres you throw in) and connect those images and thoughts with YOU! The key is to ramp up the intensity than ramp it down…ramp it up, ramp it down, rinse and repeat. Combine this with confident body language and a genuine interest in learning about her and you are well on your way to becoming a seduction master!
By Mick Jones;
Author of ‘How To Meet Women on the Internet.’
Here are the top five mistakes men make when they start to date online…and how to avoid them!
You have to put some real effort into your profile to make it shine above the masses.
Creating a unique, well-thought-out profile will instantly give you an advantage over 90% of the other men.
Create an interesting / different profile with some humor.
Be sure to have nothing negative in your profile…
Have a good, recently taken photo!
Try a head and shoulders shot and smiling to begin with.
Placing Too High a Value on a Potential Date!
This is another instinctive mistake when first starting out.
Your mind plays tricks on you and you put the lady on a pedestal before even meeting her!
Especially if you haven’t had a date for a while…
Treat every potential date as an opportunity for YOU to check HER out and see if you fancy her!
NEVER expect to meet the love of your life on a first date.
This way you will never be disappointed and sometimes very pleased.
Not Meeting Her Quickly Enough!
I did this myself for far too long.
So forget about emailing for months and getting all worked up over email.
As soon as possible, meet for coffee and a chat to see if you like each other.
This will save you a lot of time and energy…and disappointments.
Tip one. Ask for a coffee date in the first two weeks of emails.
Tip two. If she doesn’t agree to meet, move on and don’t worry about it.
There are plenty more… :-]
Emailing Interstate and Overseas Profiles!
I did this a lot when I first started dating online.
It’s tempting to do but is a complete waste of your time, energy and focus.
Unless you are rich and have a lot of spare time, don’t bother with interstate and overseas profiles.
What are the odds of you two ever hooking up?
Very little chance of it…
Why would someone interstate or overseas be better than someone local?
Only focus on and contact women in your immediate area.
Keep it down to 100 km radius from your home. This will keep your expenses and time travels down…
Not Choosing the Meeting Café.
This is more important than it sounds. Women like to be led by a decisive man. So decide/suggest the café, time and date.
If she can’t make it when you suggest, reschedule to suit her…within reason.
She will get the impression you are not timid and are comfortable making decisions…this is good.
Tip one. Make the first date during a week night. This will suggest you have a life and are busy on the weekend.
Tip two. Be relaxed at the coffee date. Don’t mention past partners or that you haven’t been dating for a long time. Just have some fun and BE happy…
Avoiding these five mistakes will save you a lot of time, money, energy and focus with online dating. This will prevent you from quitting before you get the results you desire and deserve.
Have fun and many happy seductions…
Celine was just starting to date again after a difficult breakup. She was feeling anxious because she didn’t want to go through another unhappy relationship, but she didn’t trust herself to make good choices. She sought my help in learning how to discern a promising relationship from one that is bound to fail.
In Celine’s last relationship, she had been pulled in by Gary’s ardent pursuit of her. She had wanted to go slower but didn’t listen to herself. Instead, she gave herself up to Gary’s attention and compliments.
“Celine, my experience with men who come on strong right away is that they are often controlling and needy. Is that what happened with Gary?”
“Yes. He seemed so loving and open at the beginning, but once we were in a committed relationship, he started to pull on me for time and attention. He became critical and angry and petulant when I didn’t give him what he wanted. How could I have known all this at the beginning? What should I look for now that I’m dating again?”
Celine had gone on one date with a man named Mark. After this first date, Mark emailed her, saying that he wanted to spend a lot of time with her and go on a trip with her.
“Shades of Gary,” she said. “This is a red flag, right?”
Celine and I explored some of the red flags as well as some of the signs of a promising relationship.
SOME RED FLAGS
• Comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship.
• Becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no.
• Becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience. Tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.
• Talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn’t ask you much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself.
• An older man or woman who has never been married and has been in a series of broken relationships.
• Numerous broken marriages.
• Has an abusive background and has not had therapy.
• Has abandoned his or her children.
• Not open to learning from relationship conflict.
• Participates in addictions that are unacceptable to you – smoking, drinking, drugs, addictive eating, gambling, TV, and so on.
• Financially irresponsible.
• Not truthful.
• Has few friends.
• Judgmental of self and others. Talks about self and others in disparaging ways.
• Is possessive and jealous. Gets upset when you do your own thing.
• Totally different views from yours regarding religion and/or spirituality.
• Few interests and hobbies.
Celine and I discussed the fact that you get what you see.
“It’s not that people can’t change,” I told her, “but you can’t change them. If he is not okay with you the way he is right now, then don’t pursue the relationship. If you are an on time person and heis always late, don’t expect this to change. If it’s not okay, then don’t pursue the relationship. Same thing with weight, being neat or messy, being a free spender or being frugal. These issues can become huge problems in relationships because people expect them to change and get very upset when they don’t.”
• Shows respect for your feelings and needs, even when they are different from his or her feelings and needs.
• Is able to be empathic and compassionate.
• Is interested in what you have to say and in learning about you.
• Is accepting of self and others – non-judgmental.
• Is open to exploring conflict and differences of opinion.
• Does what he or she says he or she will do.
• Cares about being responsible for children from a broken marriage – has not abandoned his or her children.
• Takes responsibility for his or her own feelings, health and well bring. Does not make you responsible for his or her feelings.
• Is financially responsible. Does not expect you to take care of him or her financially.
• If divorced, takes responsibility for his or her part of the difficulties.
• A person who was in a loving relationship and lost their mate to death. People who have been in loving relationships generally know how to have loving relationships.
• Has friends that you like.
• Talks about others in caring and supportive ways.
• Has interests and hobbies that are fulfilling to him or her.
• Similar religious or spiritual path to yours.
• Is supportive of you doing what brings you joy. Feels joy for your joy and pain for your pain.
• Can laugh at mistakes. Has a good sense of humor.
• Has balance between work and play. Knows how to work hard and how to have fun.
Before you can find the “right” person, you need to become the right person. Doing your own inner work so that you can fit the descriptions above for a promising relationship is the first step in finding a loving relationship.
Hi. My name is Lance. I’m a handsome guy with medium built figure and height. I feel that my life is hanging upside down now because of my super shy nature. Although, I get along pretty much well with others and have a bunch of close friends, I feel freezed when I come across a girl. I can’t tell you the trauma of watching my friends going out on date with the girls they meet at bars and pubs. i will be usually found sitting in a corner of bar with my drink and feeling miserable on my self.
I feel really embarrassed before my friends due to my shyness. Some of my friends even tried to arrange a blind date for me, but it never seemed to work out. But it’s the limit, I really need to get rid of my shyness as early as possible. I don’t want to be labeled as the loser who never gets a date, that’s kind of too distressing.
So guys, tonight I am going out on a date with a girl, whom one of my friends dated a couple of moths back. It’s a blind date as I have never met this girl. I’m too nervous; this date has to be successful. I need to find a girl that I can say I’m dating, that I can say I am going steady with. I’m tired of always being the left out one when my friends and I go out. So wish me luck!
Have you visited a website offering adult dating services? More often than not, these sites have really enticing advertisements. They boast of millions of members and post success stories and testimonials. But while adult dating can be fun and exciting, there are dangers that these internet sites do not include. Before you decide to engage their services, here are some things to note.
When we speak of this kind of internet or online dating service, we do not mean the ordinary dating service. The word “adult” indicates that you want to pursue a more mature, even sexual, relationship with somebody. This makes it different from the ordinary dating service that we know. That is why when you decide to meet someone from this site, do not expect a friendly casual date. More often than not, the person from the other end expects something more.
That is why it is important to be careful in giving out personal details about you, your work or residence. Only when you have developed trust between each other can you exchange details. Never give details to someone you barely know. Also, do not give out information if you see that the other person seems to avoid answering personal questions.
Should you decide to meet face to face, do so in a safe public place. Never invite him home for dinner during the first meeting. While you may trust the person to a certain degree, it is still unwise for you to bring him to your place that soon. For all you know, he may be an ex-convict, a rapist, or a serial killer. Inform a friend of your plans beforehand – where and when you’ll meet, your date’s name, and others.
Be careful of dates who ask for money. He or she may come up with stories about some financial difficulty. Because you’ve somehow developed a more intimate relationship with the person, you believe everything that he or she says, and end up giving him or her some money. Or she can reside in another state, and asks that you send her some money for a plane or bus ticket. Because you start to have some feelings for the person and would want to see her badly, you send her money for the tickets. Only that she never comes.
Another warning sign is when the person displays some erratic behavior. He may seem quiet and sincere at one time. The next moment, he shouts at you and behaves rather violently. After that, he apologizes and promises not to behave that way again. Mood swings or erratic behavior could be indicative of some serious mental disorder that he may have.
These are only some of the dangers that you may encounter should you join these websites. But these should not deter you from joining just the same. If you want to have some adult fun, then adult dating services is the thing for you. There are many sites available for you to choose from. But before joining any of these sites or deciding to meet anyone from it, exercise caution at all times. Check for reviews or feedback from former members. Visit websites which actually list down some well-recommended dating services websites. Adult dating can actually be fun, if you know how to play the game. Enjoy!
“Divorced, Split up, Single?
Five Massive Reasons Why
You Should Be Dating Online!”
Announcing five massive reasons why single men should use online dating!
How to meet more women than you could possible have time to date.
Let’s look at the reasons…
Massive Reason 1. Convenience!
You can even have a beer or a glass of wine while doing it…
Instead of late nights in smoky bars and going home disappointed…and wake up smelling and feeling like an ashtray.
Unhealthy, smoky bars are boring and drunks don’t interest me. Then there’s the loud thumping music where you have to shout at each other to be heard.
Where at home and in your own time, you can go online and pick a suitable profile to email and organize to meet.
I love doing this.
So for pure convenience and ease, online dating is the number one place for meeting women!
Online dating is a major breakthrough for single men.
You can meet women you wouldn’t otherwise ever have the opportunity to meet!
Therefore it creates an even playing field for men who otherwise don’t enjoy trying to ‘pull’ women in bars.
By learning some basic skills and getting experience, any man can succeed online.
Massive Reason 2. Not Having To Face Rejection by Approaching Women Cold!
This is a major bonus for guys who are recently divorced, split up and have lost their confidence and experience with meeting women.
It is the best way to ease back into the dating scene…
You don’t have to boldly approach a woman in public and get her number for a date.
You do it online via email, with no nervousness to deal with at all.
And if you contact a profile and she ignores your email, so what?
You just move on to another until you find one to meet, easy!
Therefore you are not confronted with your fear of being rejected in public, with online dating.
And if you do get ignored or knocked back, no one knows but you and it doesn’t MATTER.
There are plenty more to choose from…
And by the time you meet, you’ve already chatted via email and on the phone so there is no need to be nervous when you meet her for coffee.
Massive Reason 3. Confidence Building!
You gain confidence by meeting women online and having success with seduction.
This is a massive benefit.
When I divorced after nine years I was nervous approaching women and
had little success.
Once I had been online dating for six months I was back on my feet with women.
I now have the belief and confidence to approach and meet women everywhere.
I also have more skill at handling cold women and rejection when it happens.
Because I’ve learnt that it’s impossible to succeed 100% of the time.
Every No means you are closer to a Yes.
So if you are not getting rejected, you aren’t in the game!
You HAVE to be in the game!
The confidence you get meeting and seducing women online will lead you to meeting the perfect lady for you. Whether that is online or offline. It’s getting the experience that is important.
As Tony Robbins would say, ‘Repetition is the mother of skill.’ :-]
Massive Reason 4. The Infinite Amount of Suitable Women!
By having such a large pool of single women to contact, there is no need to ever be short of at least one date a week.
It’s just a case of being organized and only contacting local women to make the most of your time.
There will be anything from two to thirty two different sites in your region to join and check out profiles.
There is also many NEW women joining everyday…this will continue forever!
So it’s a must for single men to get good at online dating.
You can never run out of women to contact. Even if you exhaust one service you can try another. By the time you’ve gone through all suitable profiles to meet on the other service, the original one will have new stock! :-]
Online dating is also very affordable!
Massive Reason 5. Ease of Finding Suitable Partners!
By creating your own criteria and sticking to it, you can find someone suitable so much quicker than offline.
That is of course if they are honest in their profile…
[Which sometimes they aren’t.] :-]
This saves you a lot of time and money by having criteria.
For example, I don’t date women with children.
Which is hard in my age group.
But dating women with kids will never work out for me, so I just have to stick with my criteria.
I also don’t date smokers anymore…
So the more experience and confidence you get. The more definitive your criteria get.
By narrowing my criteria I have meet some great ladies a lot quicker than if I had dated just anyone who would go out with me.
Also when you approach someone in a bar you know nothing about them.
Online you get to know a reasonable amount before you make contact.
This really does increase your odds of meeting suitable partners.
I love online dating…I much prefer it to bars as an alternative.
It’s paved the way for me to be comfortable when I am single. Because I know there is a LOT of suitable women online and I’ll be back dating a nice lady sometime soon….
Have you ever had great success in one venue, maybe house parties, but were unable to succeed with women you met other places, like perhaps Clubs?
Often it is easier for you to be cool and social in one venue than another. This is your `comfort zone`. You know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it too. But outside of that zone, you are toast! This is because we often use certain external techniques and social skills that do not really apply to every venue we might find ourselves in. When you have deep set beliefs that you are a high status male, and that no matter where you are, that you are among the elite males, then all these anxieties and problems fall away.
How? Because your strength and resolves makes other people change THEIR mode of behavior to suit yours. If Bill Clinton walked into a raging rock concert or hip hop concert, this one man, would have everyone in a completely different frame of mind, all begging to appease HIS way of interaction. The people bend to YOU.
Inner Game Positively Influences Your Body Language
* Fifty-five percent of the communications signals we send results from how others see us
* Thirty-eight percent flows from the way they hear us
* Seven percent comes from our words
Having solid Inner Game allows your body language to accurately communicate. This is called `congruence`, when your words are matched by your attitude and body language. If you say Super Man things to a woman, but feel like Clark Kent inside, she WILL know, and you will get nowhere with her.
Inner Game Improves Every Aspect Of Your Life, Making You More Attractive
I saved the best for last. Inner Game development need not be limited to confidence and belief setting with women. It can apply to everyone, and life in general. You can rethink previous ideas, like you’ll never be able to get into a good college, or you’ll never make a good XYZ and then your subconscious will begin helping you to change so that these things can happen. What is best is that being successful in life ( and I don’t mean being rich ) will make you doubly attractive to women, and that will raise your confidence even more. It is cyclical.
Not learning proper Inner Game techniques can lead to ALOT of frustration AND embarrassment too using seduction tactics that seem incongruent. Without Inner Game, no amount of “negging”, or “cocky funny” will allow you to have lasting success with women.
People have always looked for ways to enrich and improve their lives by finding a friend, lover or partner. However, in our busy modern world, it can be difficult to find time and energy to meet a partner the conventional way.
That’s why internet dating has become so enormously popular for singles all over the world. And it’s not hard to see why. More and more people turn to dating websites: both paid and free dating sites, rather than traditional places like churches, social clubs and friends’ circles.
The internet offers a fast communication system. People with a common interest can almost immediately start messaging others looking for the same thing. The internet is an extremely time saving, cost effective, economical and anonymous medium. You don’t have to a be rich, high profile movie star or a well known sports person to be on the internet and meeting people.
Everyone is equal in cyberspace, and everyone has an equal chance to succeed.
That is, if you know how!
It all comes down to knowledge and expertise. No matter how great and trendy the technology is, it is you who has to make use of the knowledge, and only you can take the initiative. Technology only helps us, as a means to make dating services quicker and often cheaper than what was once possible.
Online dating success is more likely when you have polished practical communication skills. There is no single solution for effective online conversation with another person. In the article that follows, I’ve listed some important points to get you started. And of course the more points you follow, the more you will succeed at internet dating.
Let’s start with your own profile on an internet dating website (most dating websites require that you set up a ‘profile’ about yourself, to display to others who are searching for someone). What you’ve written in your profile’s self-description is very important.
You may start a great online conversation with someone you like, but if they look at your profile and see a clumsy presentation (like thousands other profiles), I guarantee the conversation will not last long!
A poorly-written profile gives the impression that you’re not serious about dating. And remember, you profile doesn’t have to be 100% honest. There is a difference between being honest and being careful about the information you present. Be honest about your best personal qualities, but not about personal details such as telephone number, address, workplace and so on. Share that private information with your online friend later, when you trust them more.
There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dating website profiles. But there are ‘effective’ and ‘ineffective’ ones! If you are on a dating site and about to write your own profile, work hard to create one of the effective ones. All it takes is few extra minutes of thinking, and some planning. Actual writing time will be the same, whatever profile you write (effective or ineffective).
A few extra minutes can therefore make a world of difference.
Your description should be a pleasing combination of funny and unique. Humor nearly always attracts someone’s attention, and the more you can describe your unique character, the better. And the profile should not be too long, or too short. And be particular. For example, don’t write ‘I love expensive cars’ but ‘I’m interested in Ferraris and Porsches’. Being more specific about interests and hobbies will invite further discussion from people viewing your profile). It’s a good idea to create your profile in a word processor first, and use that software’s ‘spell check’ feature. People expect to read well-written descriptions with good English and correct spelling.
Think about your profile’s title. The title is the part of your profile that people first see when searching a dating website. It’s like a personal ‘headline’ about you. A bad title might be: ‘horny stud is looking for a sexy chick’. A catchy title: ‘Skydiving accountant looking for a down-to-earth business lady’.
Contact someone whose profile has no picture or/and description – don’t underestimate this. You have far less competition when communicating with people who have blank profiles. People with complete profiles get lots of messages, so consider contacting people without pictures or a complete profile.
Profiles with picture and a description – these require a different strategy and approach. You will need more patience and persistence, because you are competing with many other messages for this person’s attention.
Be smart and use the information from the other person’s profile as your starting point for a message to them. Find out from their profile what they like most. Follow-up on what they like, as a conversation starter. It could be their new mobile phone or music album, or even a favourite holiday location or restaurant that you are also familiar with.
It’s also a good idea to ask intelligent questions that avoid a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ reply. Try to make the other person express their opinion on a topic.
Instead of asking something like: “Do you like ABCD band?” try this: “What do you think about ABCD’s last hit?”
Use jokes appropriately. Avoid saying something funny/offensive about well-know people, unless you are 100% sure the other person has a similar view. Be creative and add some funny sentences to your messages. This will keep your online friend attracted to you, and they will want to continue the conversation.
Don’t wait for other people to contact you. Make an effort to start a conversation with someone whose profile caught your eye.
Be determined to achieve your goal. Start by making a realistic plan, perhaps breaking it into measurable steps first. Approach online dating with a positive attitude. Something like: ‘I will only leave this particular dating site when I’ve met someone I really like.’
Write individualised messages to people you contact. Don’t send impersonal, generic or ready-made messages. People spot these right away, usually by the way text mis-aligns in your message (text that has been copied and pasted has different alignment). Or by content that might not be relevant to their profile details.
Write a few sentences in your messages. Don’t just say ‘hi, how are you? or ‘hi, you look gorgeous!’ People receive lots of short messages, and they won’t be impressed if you send yet another one.
Avoid writing long messages. It can annoy people as much as short one. It’s a mistake to write a long message containing everything you want to say. Bear in mind what the other person wants to hear! An overly long or self-indulgent message will often not receive a reply.
Show the person you chatting with that you care about them. It will put you in a better position than other candidates. Do this by being empathetic, and interested in their life.
Contact one person at a time. Doing this means you’ll be more prepared, and more focused. If you’re more prepared, you’re more likely to receive a reply, which could lead to a ongoing conversation online.
Always have your best photos displayed in your profile. Update them regularly.
Make sure there are a few of them. At least one must be a recent portrait.
One full-length photo is also a good idea. It’s a bonus if you’re smiling in the photos! Having photos online will considerably increase traffic and therefore your chances of meeting someone. People often reluctant to contact somone without a photo.
Be prepared to follow-up on every message you send. If the person you’re contacting hasn’t replied in a few days, write another message, and keep it friendly. Don’t be demanding. Tell the person you’re waiting for a reply and you’d like to hear from them, so you can hear whether they are not interested in you, or not. Don’t keep sending further messages if you don’t receive a reply to your second message. Some people will only send a reply IF they are interested in you. If you don’t hear from someone, you can assume it is a ‘no’ from them.
The last and one of the most important tip is never give up. This is easier said than done! Remember that persistence brings success – there are no shortcuts. Keep in mind that online dating does work – many people have met their marriage partner from dating websites.
Follow the above tips to increase your chances of online dating success. Once you gain experience and polish, you will definitely see results. Happy dating!