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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Dating Advice: Indecisive To Focused In 5 Steps

 

20160603173131-businesswoman-working-desk-workplaceYou are a single woman who is frustrated because your life and relationships are humdrum and mundane. Time to make some changes. What are you really passionate about? What makes your heart sing? Are you waiting for a relationship to make your life begin? It’s time to step out of your comfort zone and begin to live a life that has energy and momentum.

Step 1 – Move out of Indecisive

As a single coach many of the women I speak to are indecisive about their lives and particularly about relationships. They seem to be in a rut and don’t know how to find the time, energy or focus to have it be different.

Ask yourself the question; is my life as I would like it to be? Do I have a picture of how I want my life to look in a year, 2 years, 5 years? I suggest that if you want you life to be different you first have to start with your own vision. Part of this vision will probably include a relationships. So Step 1 is to build your vision, give yourself time and space to do this – get yourself a notebook, look at all areas of your life, including relationships, and write down how you would life to look.

Step 2 – Moving from trying to doing

Part of the problem for single women is that you do not know how to make the changes in your attitudes and actions. Quite a lot of the time I hear women say that they will ‘try’ to do something. Have you ever just tried to pick up a cup? Just trying ends in failure because you will not complete the action.

So now you have a vision how are you going to make this happen? How are you going to convert trying into doing? Step 2 is about learning not just to dip your toe in the water but to make the first step. Look at the work you have done on your vision and ask yourself what is the one thing I can do today which will move me towards that vision? This action will often be very small but it is a step taken and achieved.

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Step – 3 Change

happy-woman-fotolia_12331389_subscription_xxl-1050x700Change is not half-hearted, it has energy and dynamism. It is about having a headline for your life that says “I know where I am heading and I am walking in that direction”. So in Step 2 I talked about taking the first steps. Although these may be small at first the aim is for you to get your life in motion and find more energy for yourself.

Step 3 is about how to find that energy. If you want to achieve lasting change in your life you are going to have to feel successful in the steps you are taking. What are you really passionate about that you are not doing now? What makes your heart sing? I suggest you concentrate on those areas of life that will bring you the biggest gains first. That means don’t necessarily look at the relationship part first, look at those parts that you can achieve on your own.

Step 4 – Commitment to yourself first

Guess what, you need to fix your life first and a relationship that you desire will follow. This sounds like a tall order but I can assure you it works like that. Your first commitment is to yourself and getting all the pieces of your life in order so that you can have the future that you desire.

How can you keep that commitment? Step 4 is you putting your agenda at the top of your list of priorities. This is not about being selfish but about being self-focused and self-disciplined. Take the situation when you have promised yourself that you will do a particular task that will move you towards your vision. A friend phones, she is lonely and would like to meet for a drink. It is easy for you to give up on your task after all you want to be a good friend but it is more important to remind yourself about your priorities. After all you can meet her tomorrow night. So don’t put off those things that move you further down your path.

Step 5 – Making a plan and sticking to it.

It is so easy to let life get in the way and find yourself back where you were. Therefore the most important part is having a plan for your life and for relationships that will keep you focused on moving forward.

My suggestion is that Step 5 is for you draw up a plan. It will have different areas for the different parts of your life. Then ask yourself what can I do this week, this month, this 6 months to move forward? Now it is time to make appointments with yourself, but your tasks in your diary. Be kind to yourself and don’t make them too big or too many just slow and steady. See yourself being successful in ticking them off week by week.

  • Single Dating Places United Kingdom
    Single Dating Places United Kingdom

Internet pitfalls: dangers of online dating

 

onlinedatinglies3Watch out for lies and embellishments There are certain things which peoplecommonly lie about within their profile. The most common include: Height, weight, age, and occupation. Also be aware that people may embellish a little bit about themselves to make themselves sound better. For example, they may over exaggerate their travel experience, college education, etc… As mentioned before, even some pictures can’t be trusted. Some people use old photos of themselves because they looked better back then. Most important, be aware that some people lie about their relationship status. Married people have been known to state they are single on online dating sites.

Be careful about sharing your email As mentioned, most online dating sites allow you to use an anonymous internal communication system. Make sure you take full advantage of that. If you do start to feel comfortable with someone and would like to share an email address with them, don’t use your regular email address. Set up a free email address that you use strictly for your online dating activities. You can easily obtain one through yahoo, hotmail, gmail, etc…

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Be careful about sharing your personal information It’s easy to get sweptup and excited about the possibility of a new romance. However, the anonymous nature of online dating sites makes it just woman-on-laptopas (if not) more important than ever to protect your personal information. Don’t share your full name. Never give out the details of exactly where you work, or go to school. You can say something like “I work at a major downtown law firm.” If they ask, “Which one?” Just politely tell them you’d rather not say until you get to know them a little better. Most people will understand and respect your decision to not share. Don’t ever give out your address. Be very careful about giving out your telephone number. This is especially true of your cell phone number.

Don’t get too serious too fast It’s best to just keep things on the lighter side for a little while when you first meet someone from an online dating site. Keeping things friendly and light will help you to get to know the other person a lot better than just diving into a relationship.
Using an online dating service will help you to find your ideal person for a relationship. By using it to its full potential you won’t have to just “settle” for someone.Unfortunately, there are some people of questionable character in this world. You’re just as likely to meet someone who is up to no good at the gym, bar/club, or even at work as you are at an online dating site. The only difference with online dating sites is the level of anonymity that is provided for users. It’s a dual edge sword. It helps protect the innocent and allows those of dubious character to get away with a little more. These pitfalls and dangers weren’t mentioned to scare you. Online dating sites provide safe, fun, and exciting ways to meet people. Just keep these tips in mind and use common sense. The majority of people on online dating sites are legitimately searching for someone they can connect with, have fun with, and maybe even fall in love with. Maybe that special person they’re waiting for is you!

  • Single Dating Places United Kingdom
    Single Dating Places United Kingdom

Dating For The Depressed Soul

 

03928793f1af74a96032558b6e25247dNothing can be more upsetting than getting turned down by a the opposite sex especially when your suffering from depression. Be rest assured this is not the end of the world. While dating can be fun it can also help us out tremendously when we are feeling depressed. Having someone to talk to and be with will naturally lift your spirits up. But remember to keep cool and follow these general guidelines when dating while depressed.

Remember you may feel exhilerated at the first date, but as time goes on and you continue to date the person as things become routine you may start to feel depressed. Remember to always be doing something, The same routine over and over again is boring, unless of course your perfectly content with boredom.

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Okay, we havent got to the part about asking the person out! That by far is the hardest part for anyone to do, especially if you are a person who is less

one woman waiting dinning in silhouettes on white background

socially active. But don’t dispair, it’s easier than you think. Think about it this way, do you get fearful when your calling up dear old gramma on the phone to check how she is doing? No! And I highly doubt she would reject you either. Just work up the courage, you can do it. Rehearse what you are going to say at first, and get it down so its fluid like. Don’t be depressed if you get rejected. The best of us all get rejected at times.

If your potential date says yes thats great. Now onto the date… Never, ever talk about how your depressed and feeling down on the first date. People have a tendancy to be turned off by those that are always sad and depressed. Find an atmosphere where you and your date can go that will uplift your spirits. If you get to the point where you have been dating this person for a while and still are feeling symptoms of depression then if you trust that person enough it may be okay to confide in them.

Hopefully this has started you on the path to happiness with dating. Remember to keep your chin up.

  • Single Dating Places United Kingdom
    Single Dating Places United Kingdom

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