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Monthly Archives: April 2017

Dating Christians – The Best Advice You Will Ever Hear

christian-dating-590x295There are four things any Christian should do if they are dating. I borrowed a name for the four from the old mustard colored tract made so famous by Bill Bright’s organization, Campus Crusade for Christ. I call them “The Four Spiritual Laws of Dating. Although they are pointed at Christians in general I am sure they would work for anyone. I suppose to work on just anyone it might require that the reader first read the original “Four Spiritual Laws” tract, and believe it.

1. Keep All The Rules of The Scripture. There are quite a few laws and rules set forth in the scripture about dating. Keep them all. Examples are, not having sex before marriage, not being unequally yoked to unbelievers and the study of the principles and examples of a good marriage as set forth in the Bible. If you don’t know what these things are then you should be reading your Bible and seeking a Pastor or good Christian counselor to help you.

2. Pray About Every Aspect of Your Dating and Your Intention To Marry. This is not simple or rudimentary advice it is absolute bottom line essential advice. Miss this and you have missed the boat. Pray about your potential mate, pray with them and pray together with others as well. God is always honored when we include him in all our intentions and decision. To leave him out of such a major decision (marriage) is ridiculous and could only be insulting to God. Remember he is not just Jesus, he is the Lord Jesus.

3. Take Your Time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it is not Rome Satan is constantly attacking. Marriage, especially good marriages are under constant attack in today’s atmosphere of throw away relationships. The breakup of the established fabric of most societies is something that prophecy predicts as one of the precursors to a time of anarchy and the rule of the worlds last dictator, the antichrist. Marriage is pretty high on the list of things to destroy in Satan’s agenda, don’t let him put yours on his list. Take time to look to listen to weigh your choice, thus giving God time to answer you back as you go.

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4. Ask Your Prospective Mate this All Important Question. I wasn’t lucky enough to have heard this advice when I was a young man. I would have given a kingdom to acquire it and I have never seen it fail anyone in many decades of telling it to others. I originated this test but I must say I was always sure it was God inspired.

You must pose the question within specific parameters for it to work. First you must be sure that you tell your mate that this is a question that they might ask themselves if they were in a comfortable place where they go to sit and meditate or pray. You are not asking the question, they are asking it of themselves. No one accept the insane and fools would ever lie or try to deceive themselves. You would ask them, if they were alone in a comfortable place, a place they liked to be in to think and pray, and if they were to ask themselves one single question, what would their answer be, to themselves?

580couple1301097The question is. “If I could summarize in three sentences or less what I want out of life, what would my answer be to myself.” Let them ponder this question, don’t rush the answer but take their answer with utmost seriousness. People will rarely lie to themselves and the answer will be the truth almost without fail. If they say I just want to love and be loved, or I just want some security in life, or I want to get the best things in life or follow a career…those are the real and lasting answers, you can count on it. If you should not marry that person but were to come around to see them for a period of one or two or fifty years you would see one thing, they would have found the things they told you they wanted or they would still be looking for them.

What has all this got to do with anything? Only everything! By posing the question as outlined with an honest person you will have boiled the forty gallons of sap it takes to make a quart of grade “A” maple syrup. You can believe the answer; you can also be guided by the answer. That is, you can decide if the answer conjuncts with your own answer to yourself about your own life.

Comparing all of the common likes and dislikes you have with your prospective mate or having long intimate discussions is a good thing. But life is in motion; everyone has a direction real or perceived. Find out what that direction is before marriage and you will not crash against it after you are married.

Whoso findeth a wife (mate) findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

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    Single Dating Places United Kingdom

Dating A Professional Single

Dating-Single-MomsAt one time or another and maybe in some people’s cases all the time we’ve dreamed about dating a rich guy or gal. You know the successful lawyer or doctor or the on the edge entrepreneur. It’s that perfect scene we play in our head that allows us to see things just the way we want them to be but in reality dating a professional single may not be quite so picture perfect. Now I don’t mean that in a negative sense I mean that more in a realistic, scheduling, goal reaching, aggressive personality sense.

What is a professional single?

I guess in technical terms it would be any single person who holds a “white collar” job. A business owner, a executive, a doctor, a lawyer, I think you get the idea. Someone who probably has a college degree, maybe several, someone who is driven to succeed, who probably enjoys the finer things in life, who doesn’t like excuses but relishes results. A person who wants to make the most out of their professional life. They are not satisfied with a 9 to 5 career but are instead looking for every opportunity to succeed as far as they can in their given field. Does that make them a bad person? Does that make them a person who cares for no one but themselves? Hardly, in fact the world needs driven individuals like a professional single. Can you imagine where we would be if the Romans had not had so many driven people or if the Egyptians had decided that thinking big was too much? I’m not trying to get into a history lesson or morality debate here, I’m just showing what a person who is trying to get the most out of themselves can do. A single professional is certainly a person trying to get the most out of themselves.

What are the downfalls to dating a professional single?

Like any relationship involving two people you will always have downfalls so don’t be under the impression that dating a professional single will be any better or worse than dating the non-professional single. Those factors lie more in who the person is not what their career is. I mean if you date a jerk, you date a jerk. Whether he has on a $1500 suit or a pair of Levi Overalls, he’s a jerk. OK, so what are the downfalls to dating a professional single?

Time away from home – This means time away from you

sex-love-life-2015-06-commitment-guy-mainThe job is always on their mind – You might be out on the perfect dinner date but if a big deal is in the works you should not be surprised if the cell phone rings and it’s answered.

Perfectionism – They may not be the tidiest person or remember to bring flowers but in some way all highly driven professionals are perfectionists

Job is first – Can you play second fiddle? Although this may not be true in every sense but in many ways the job will come first.

How to avoid the downfalls of dating a professional single.

Time away from home – Of course they’re going to be going to the office everyday, maybe out of town once a week or more and maybe even over a weekend in fact if they are very driven, you can expect all of these and more. Late hours, early mornings, numerous days in which you may not see each other and might not even speak one on one. The remedy? Communicate. Have an ongoing calendar, it won’t be perfect as things change but it’s one tool in communicating. If you can see a schedule it will help you understand what’s going that week or day. Always talk once a day. Both of you must be committed to speaking to each other daily. It might be for only 5 minutes at 2 a.m. but it will make a difference.

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The job is always on their mind – In every persons professional career especially early on they are given responsibility to get the job done. This may entail them following up on every detail at all hours of the day and night. You must understand that this is part of working your way to the top and even more importantly the professional you are dating must understand that although they might have to take a call at dinner they should keep it as brief as possible and let their colleagues know that a call should only be made if it is extremely important or critical in nature. Communication once again plays a role in the relationship, for all parties involved.

wne-1Perfectionism – How hard is it to be perfect? Well since no one that I’ve ever met is, it must be impossible. That being said we probably all have idiosyncrasies that some would consider a trait of perfectionism. Professional singles are no different, they must have details or actions within their jobs that require perfectionism otherwise the product or service they produce would be substandard which is not the mark of a successful professional. Take the perfectionism in stride and recognize you probably have some traits that drive your partner nuts. Identify, recognize and adapt. Those three words will go along way in helping you and him or her overcome your faults.

The job is first – Ouch, how can someone put something before me? Guess what, this happens whether the person is a professional single or a everyday man. Something’s always going to be important to someone and there may come a time when they have to choose you over that activity or function. Although this is a very black and white statement the truth is there is no easy answer for this question. In the case of a job you would have to look at each incident to determine the worth. For example if you had a date planned at 7 and you get a call at 6:45 that something came up at work it’s ok to be upset but more importantly you need to judge the moment. Without being a nagger you should find out what is so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow, if the answer is valid then you must put it in context with the relationship overall. You knew going in that the career of the person was a big part of their life so you should accept that with that commitment to career comes some sacrifice on your end. However if you find out the reason for the cancellation is not a 911 emergency but a 411 pizza call then you should re-assess the person immediately. This would be a case of someone who is not honest, respectful or committed to having a relationship.

Let’s summarize: Dating a professional single will probably entitle you to a lifestyle that leans towards the finer things in life and would probably ensure a future of financial stability and a golden retirement. Dating a professional single will also bring you many hours of you time, interrupted plans and until those retirement years a backseat to the demands of a successful career. If you are a person that can see a person for what they are and accept them for those strengths and faults and if that person meets what you deem as the perfect mate then dating a professional single is probably the best thing you will ever do.

  • Single Dating Places United Kingdom
    Single Dating Places United Kingdom

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