Dating after divorce Children

Dating After Divorce: Words of Caution Before Telling Your Kids!

By Rosalind P. Sedacca

divorce_1661211cWhen you divorce as a parent the experience can be extremely traumatic — especially because of your concern for the children. Another great challenge comes when you’re ready to move on after divorce. It’s a time to be very gentle, both with yourself as well as with your children.

n-FAMILY-CONVERSATION-large570Chances are, you made a considerable emotional investment in your marriage. Having seen that relationship fail can make you insecure about facing new relationships ahead. But if you take the time to go within, learn from your mistakes, understand the lessons from your marriage and determine new ways to approach future relationships, at some point you will feel ready to step back out into the dating world again. Then you face the challenge of breaking the news to your children.

Be Sensitive and Empathic!

9f64e59921Of course the age of your children will play a big part in how to talk to them about your starting to date. The rapport you have with them and closeness within your own relationship with the kids will also play a part in this difficult conversation.

sb10063028l-001Remember, your children are smarter than you think. They can pick up on your emotions and when you’re telling untruths. It’s best to be honest about your feelings regarding bringing another potential partner into your life. But be very sensitive about their emotions on this topic.

161318949Let your children know you’re healing, feeling better about yourself and are now ready to explore meeting new friends. Remind them how much you love them, how important they are in your life, and that dating has nothing to do with replacing them – ever! Explain that you will still be the attentive parent you’ve always been and that they always come first in your life. Be very clear that no one will ever replace their other parent either!

divorce_mistakes_child_yourtangoYou may need to have this conversation many times over several weeks or months to give your kids time to digest the concept and express how they feel about what you are saying. Encourage them to ask questions and share their opinions. Be patient and understanding of their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it.

Be Selective in Choosing Partners!

o-DATING-WITH-KIDS-facebookDon’t introduce your children to every new person you date. You can let them know that you are going out with friends every once in a while, if they ask, but don’t bring causal relationship partners into their world. This can be confusing for children and disappointing for them if the new partner they meet disappears or gets replaced a few weeks or months later.

102757238When you do find a person you are seriously involved with, prepare the children in advance for the first meetings. Spend short intervals together and let the exposure build over time. Ask the kids for their feedback. Discuss their feelings. Watch how your partner behaves with them. Make sure the kids never feel threatened by the thought they are losing their Mom or Dad to a stranger. How you approach adding a new partner into your life will affect their long-term relationship with the children. So be careful, considerate and empathic in all your actions. Needless to say, make sure you choose a partner who treats your children well.

DivorceChildren who have close relationships with both biological parents are more likely to accept a new parent partner into their lives without distress. Because they feel safe in their relationship with Mom and Dad, they are less likely to be threatened by a new adult entering the picture. When one biological parent disrespects and disparages the other parent, it puts the children on the defensive, making them much more likely to reject a new relationship partner entering the family dynamic.

So take your time when transitioning into dating after divorce. Move slowly when opening the door to new relationships that will be affecting your children. Putting yourself in their place will give you insight into what it can be like to find Mom or Dad with a new partner. Talking with a therapist or relationship coach can be quite helpful as you transition into this next phase of your life.

Internatioanal:         Love Island

United kingdom:     Tantra Dating

USA:                           Tantra Matchmaking

Article Source:

Dating After Divorce: Life After Death of a Marriage

By Steve R Martinelli

o-KIDS-DIVORCE-facebookIf you have been out of the dating scene for quite a few years though it can be quite daunting getting back out there. In this article I will offer some advice on how to get back into the dating scene after divorce.

avoid-mentioning-your-exThe first thing that you need to do is make sure that you are completely over your ex and are ready to move onto that next stage of your life. Many people feel like a failure when their marriage ends in divorce and if you still feel this way then it will be difficult to move on with a new relationship. So it is important to have resolved any issues that you might still have over your divorce before moving onto a serious relationship with someone new.

Noah-Allie-noah-and-allie-4458854-1024-683You also don’t want to rush into a new relationship too soon after a divorce. Rebound relationships very rarely work as they are started with the wrong reasons behind them. Wait until you have gone through all the ‘grieving’ stages of your divorce and are in a healthy state of mind before dating after divorce.

7cca1-exAnother reason you want to be completely ready to move on is that if you are still hung up on your ex you are likely to talk about them a lot or even compare your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your ex. When you start dating someone the quickest way to turn them away is to continually talk about your ex.

CohabAgreementTips_MovOn__340When you do venture out onto a date with someone, go out with a positive attitude and just enjoy yourself. Don’t be too nervous about having been away from the dating scene for so long, it doesn’t matter, just go out and have a good time. I’m sure you aren’t in a big hurry to replace your ex and settle down again, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t meet Mr. Right on the first date you go on. Enjoy yourself until Mr. Right comes along.

Father-working-on-laptop--008If you have children, particularly young children, then you also need to consider their needs when you start dating after divorce again. Having children doesn’t mean that you should never date and meet someone else; you are entitled to happiness also. However, you need to protect them and consider their feelings, so dating when you have children is a bit more involved than dating as a single person.
Since it can be quite scary dating after a divorce, try to enjoy yourself and not think about meeting your next husband or wife. Enjoy the company of another person and when the time is right you will meet the right person and you will know it when it happens.



Internatioanal:         Love Island

United kingdom:     Tantra Dating

USA:                           Tantra Matchmaking

Article Source:

Dating After Divorce – The Pitfalls of Introducing Your Kids To Your Date Too Soon

By Alyssa Johnson

dating-after-divorce (1)Dating after divorce can be an exciting time. You’re free again. Free to find someone who cares about you. Most marriages before a divorce cool significantly and tend to make us feel unlovable since the one person who’s supposed to love us doesn’t show that anymore. Now you have the opportunity to find that “lovin’ feeling” again. In the midst of the excitement, be sure not to make unwise decisions when it comes to your children.

o-INTRODUCE-KID-TO-NEW-LOVE-facebookOne of the biggest mistakes I run into with my coaching clients is introducing their kids to dating partners too soon. While you may be really excited about this new person in your life, your kids probably aren’t. Your dating is a foreign idea to them. In their minds, you’re supposed to be with their other parent, not holding hands with some stranger.

Dating after divorce and kidsThe most common reason for introducing kids to dates probably falls under the heading of convenience. It’s just easier to spend time with your special someone at your home. Getting a babysitter or waiting until the kids are at their other parent’s house gets old, especially when you’re in the passionate stage of a new relationship when you want to be together all the time.

While that’s understandable, here’s a list of problems with that thinking:

r-CHILDREN-OF-DIVORCE-large5701. You’re placing a higher priority on you needs rather than your kids’.

2. If your focus is solely on your new partner, this will only increase your kids’ fears about abandonment.

3. Life after divorce already feels unstable for your kids. With a constant revolving door of new people coming in and out of your children’s lives no stability will be gained.

4. With so many people coming and going, your children will be less likely to be willing to bond with someone when a relationship really becomes serious for fear of them leaving just like all the others have.

While this should be a time of freedom. Freedom to explore who you are now. Freedom to try new things. Freedom to discover what kind of partner you want to have in your life now. Remember that you have little eyes watching you to see how life is supposed to be “done” and depending on you to be there for them.




Internatioanal:         Love Island

United kingdom:     Tantra Dating

USA:                           Tantra Matchmaking

Article Source:

Dating After Divorce – I Don’t Have Time to Date With 2 Teenagers

By Ronnie Ann Ryan

Mother Plays With ChildrenAre you a divorced woman with children? Naturally your children are your first priority – as they should be. That’s just good parenting. But a happy Mom, makes for a happy family – isn’t that true as well?

o-MAN-AND-WOMAN-HOLDING-HANDS-WITH-KIDS-facebookWhen I work with my dating coaching clients who are dating after divorce, we talk about hopes and dreams for their kids. What mother doesn’t want her children to grow up and live a full and balanced life? One of the best ways to ensure this is to model a full and balanced life yourself. That includes having an active social life.

dating-after-divorceMany moms feel they need to sacrifice their own life in support of their children, putting off dating until the kids are off at college. It’s understandable how someone might come to this conclusion. There are only so many hours in the day and schedules today for students are jammed packed. But is this really the best thing for all concerned? Only you can make that decision of course.

child-expenses-after-divorce-e1412796226530My challenge to single moms is this – if you want to find a new, loving relationship, you will need to carve out some time for your social life. And in truth, you’ll be a much happier person when you are renewed by time spent with friends at the very least. Care taking has a price that women often don’t acknowledge.

There are several ways to stay fresh which will benefit all parties:

1. Pamper/care for yourself.
78427683_4x3That includes any of the following such as hair, nails, massage, body work, exercise, personal training, bubble baths, saunas, etc.

2. Relaxation.
sun rising meditationThis step has overlap with pampering when you include baths, saunas, massage, listening to music, reading, etc.

3. Enrichment.
screen_shot_1365414506_640x640Take a continuing ed class, learn a new language, join a book or knitting club, volunteer to help others, etc.

4. Socialize.
Socialize-as-you-always-didSpend time with family and friends. Nothing like time with your girlfriends to add more enjoyment to your life. This option offers you support, community, and laughter – all important for a balanced life.

5. Dating/Relationship.
your24hcoach-love-relationships-dating-relationship-couples-w640Having a romantic relationship is a real and basic human need. When you carve out even small amounts of time to date and meet new people, you can create the opportunities to find new love. If you were still married, you’d be making time to spend with for your husband. Use this time to date and to meet new people to find a new partner.

No one said being a single parent is easy. Far from it. As a dating after divorce coach, I just want to encourage you to keep your own life vital and moving forward while you are raising your children. Modeling a balanced life is the surest way to help your children have everything you want for them, and all they so richly deserve.

Internatioanal:         Love Island

United kingdom:     Tantra Dating

USA:                           Tantra Matchmaking

Article Source:

When Do You Bring Up Divorce When Dating?

By Eli Franklin

470620537You have met someone new and everything is going along great. When do you bring up the fact that you’ve recently gone through a divorce? There is no cookie cutter answer for this question. The answer depends on you, your situation and the other person’s situation and viewpoints. The best advice anyone can give you is to bring up divorce while dating only when the time is right. If that doesn’t help, maybe the following will.

Your Dating Profile

curlyIf you are attempting to meet people through online dating, you are usually afforded space to list your marital status on your profile. This gives you a great opportunity to list ‘Divorced’ so that you can get the subject out of the way before you two even exchange the first messages. Then it won’t be such a big deal. The other person can’t say that you hid the fact that you were divorced if it is listed right there in black and white on your dating profile page.

No Kids, Short Marriage

459358085If there are no children and you were only married for a couple of years, then it really shouldn’t matter when you bring up the divorce. You really have no ties to your ex, so your new relationship should be able to blossom freely.

Kids And Crazy Exes

single_mom_datingIf your divorce involves children, visitations and if your ex is a crazy person, you need to mention that you are divorced very early on. Even if you really like the person and you are in that stage where you are afraid to say the wrong thing out of fear of the person running away screaming, you need to be upfront that your divorce or elements of it may suddenly appear at some point in your new relationship.

The other person needs to be willing to meet your children eventually and if the ex is crazy, the new person must be willing to take any risks involved.

Of course, most divorces aren’t that messy. As long as you have met someone understanding and willing to get to know you, telling someone that you are divorced shouldn’t matter one bit.

For best results, you should always be upfront and honest with every date you go on. Bring up the divorce as early as possible if it is going to affect your new relationship in any way, or don’t mention it at all if there are no kids or ex-ties.

In any relationship, honesty is always the best answer. Dating after divorce can be a difficult time, but it will be a much better experience if you open your heart and swear to be absolutely truthful with every person you go out with.


Internatioanal:         Love Island

United kingdom:     Tantra Dating

USA:                           Tantra Matchmaking

Article Source:

My Personal Divorced Parent Dating Advice

By Pieter West

FindinDivorced Parent Datingg myself a divorced mother of three children was a traumatic ego shattering experience. Even worse than the depression and low self esteem I had to wade through; were the mistakes I made after the divorce when it came to dating again. My prayer is that sharing my story and divorced parent dating advice I learned from firsthand experience; will help you or someone you know avoid the same mistakes I made.

Feeling alone and in need of adult company I began to date two months after my divorce. I hadn’t really sorted through all the feelings of anger, betrayal and bitterness I felt toward my ex for cheating on me and ruining our marriage. I don’t know if I wanted to date to make me feel better or make my ex feel worse.
At any rate I began dating a man I knew from high school.

Wait Before you Date

73022011 (1)Work through your feelings of betrayal and anger first. Then when you decide to date you will be doing it for the right reasons and you will be healthy to make good dating choices.

I didn’t discuss my dating with my kids; I thought they might feel more secure having a man around the house again. I guess I assumed my kids would understand mom’s need for an adult life outside of being their mom. I was selfish and wrong.

Talk to Your Kids about Dating Again

r-SINGLE-PARENT-DAY-large570I introduced my children to the man. He came over and played baseball one evening with my son who is 8. I fixed dinner and without thinking, I pecked the man on the cheek in the kitchen. My 13 year old daughter ran from the kitchen screaming “I hate you”.

Displaying Affection

confidentDon’t have outward displays of affection in front of your children until the relationship has long been established and your children have gotten used to the thought of you dating someone. The relationship didn’t last very long and my son, who had only spent time with the man once; asked about him every day for months. It was terrible to see him so upset about the relationship ending and not seeing the man again.


Full2548Don’t introduce your children to someone you have just started dating. Wait until the relationship is well established and is going somewhere. I took myself and my children to a good family therapist and we worked through our problems. I re-established the trust with my children and now go to great links to protect them and their emotional health.

Discuss Dating

42.-ak7x5c-alamy-parentdish-1311950501Allow your children the freedom and opportunity to express their feelings about you dating again. If they are extremely upset with the thought; postpone dating for awhile. Eventually they will have to accept the idea, but if it has been less than a year and they are having strong emotions against it; waiting a little longer won’t hurt you and will go a long way to help your children.

My sincere hope is that these tips to date after divorce save you from making the same mistakes I did. I wish I had found a list of tips to date after divorce, before I put my kids through the added trauma of my dating way before my children or I was ready.


Internatioanal:         Love Island

United kingdom:     Tantra Dating

USA:                           Tantra Matchmaking

Article Source:



Google Adsense

Successful Online Dating

Real Time Analytics Clicky