By Suzi Carr
When you have been out of the dating loop for awhile, you know how difficult it can be to get back in to the swing of things. So think what it is like to be dating after a divorce, quite intimidating. People either think they should wait awhile, or it may be hard on their past partner, or they just seem to get into being shy about dating again.
Then there is the case of being scared, of being hurt or let down once again. These are reasons, that hold us back, are totally justified and we should not beat ourselves up over them. We should give ourselves a bit of composure time, think about what we want.
After all once we are divorced, we still have years of feelings that will never leave us, but get better with time. It is not like at high school, when you go out with someone, break it off and find yourself falling straight for another person. The reason being, we have a lot more mental baggage, after a marriage.
Never the less, once we are over our divorce, we should get right back in the saddle and go for it. Dating after divorce should be fun, as well as exiting and a little bit frightening. Mainly though we should enjoy being single again and not try too hard.
Dating someone after divorce may even feel a little too uncomfortable, but do not let it stop you. It is up to you whether or not you want to do it. So when you go on a date, make sure you are feeling happy, energized and glad to be dating after a divorce. This will also make your date feel at ease, even if they do not know you are divorced.
There may be a point when you don’t want to tell people you are dating after divorce, but do not be ashamed of the fact. Let your date know, that it is good to be dating again, and if you want to keep going on a date with one particular person, you could maybe add, that you only like it so much because they are there with you. Just don’t frighten them off, by being to clingy.
In this day and age there are a lot of ways for people who are dating after divorce to get back out there. You can sign up to a dating site, place an ad in the personals of as paper or even go to a club which specializes in divorcees or singles. The internet probably has the widest range of being able to find other people who are in the same boat, but it can be a bit strange, when getting to know someone without actually talking to them face to face, but then I suppose we do have net cams for that.
Another thing to remember is to not let anyone push you into dating after a divorce, or to keep you away from dating after divorce. People in your family may think it is too soon, or that you should have been doing it a long time ago. It is you who should make the decision of when to go dating after divorce, not theirs – so never be pushed in to it, just enjoy it.
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